Hello! If you noticed that a post called Ride of the Valkyrie has been deleted, I apologize for that and thank everyone who commented. I did reply to everyone but actually, my husband asked me if I would delete it, and as he's never asked for anything like that before, I complied.
He was concerned that it had the potential to hurt my son's feelings, and in thinking it over, I think he's right.
Thanks to everyone who commented, and really lifted my spirits on that. It is truly appreciated.
34 comments:
arent you quite envious of the wise women who started their blogs without telling hubby and kids...l wish l had!!!
saz x
Hehe, you know that's probably a good point, Saz. My husband doesn't read my blog much, that I know of, at least. I told him about the title and the post. To which he said, "Oh honey, don't you think you should take that down? He's going through enough without permanent evidence of how upset you were, it could really hurt his feelings."
I went back, read the post and thought my husband had a point. My son doesn't read my blog either, but does know it exists.
I decided to err on the side of sensitivity :-)
Hope you're doing well, Saz!
Erring on the sensitive side was a wise decision...
I can understand his feelings...but I have an 18 year old and I greatly appreciated your plight. Thanks for sharing!
Yeah, I wish I hadn't told my husband. I think he only reads it to make sure I'm not writing about him. I keep telling him my world does not revolve around him but he's still suspicious. I do write about him now and then but try to keep it light hearted. My kids read it too but they are in their early 30s so it's not about them either except peripherally. I'll have to tell the story of my daughter getting kicked out of a youth retreat for smoking and we had to drive 250 miles at night to go get her.
Lady Fi, I agree, better to play it safe, just in case. Besides, at least in theory someday I won't be upset about this any longer.
Jennifer, doesn't it help to know that none of us are alone? Sometimes when our kid is driving us crazy, it seems like everyone else we know either has a perfect child, or else (sadly for them) then kind of full blown nightmare kid. It is nice to know that most of us just have the "good most of the time, occasionally makes me pull my hair out" variety of kid.
Oh my goodness, Ellen! That must have been quite the journey, not to mention quite the drive back!
Shimpy! You are so thoughtful to reconsider a post. I know from experience, even the most innocent expressions can sometimes be misinterpreted.
I did see Ride of the Valkyrie show up on my blogroll, but didn't have time to read it at that moment. Now I'm disappointed I missed it.
By the way, Casa Hice is LOVING all your incredible comments. You are too good to me and always make me smile. I'm a lucky gal! XO
Well, damn! That's what I get for not coming around here more often. I missed something that could have been embarrassing to someone. I mean, that's the best stuff on these here intertubes. Now, most of my stuff is only embarrassing to ME...
How sweet of your husband to be so concerned. And applause for you to take down the post. Words can easily be misconstrued that is for sure.
Hugging you
SueAnn
You did the right thing, of course. Even without having read it, I know that. If a family member asks for something to come down, by all meas it should come down. Family takes precedence over all else.
Hi Alane, I read your last post, but didn't comment.
I'm really glad I haven't told my family about my blog. I try not to write about them (except my daughter) because I'm sure, if they new, it would be held against me.
Alix, thank you, and I'm so glad you enjoy the comments. I get such a kick out of reading blogs, there are a lot of funny, wonderful people in the world. It's like a balm to the soul, I'm telling you.
Jim, but I did leave behind evidence that my husband was correct, and that I was incorrect. What in the world could I have been thinking ;-) I kid, I kid, it's a rare day when I'm not wrong about something.
You write a fair amount of stuff with a non-fiction humor vibe also, Jim so I'm sure you do get it. Making fun of myself? Fair game. Making fun of anyone else? Fraught with peril.
Besides, I remembered something, may years ago my first car was a VW Bug that look great from the outside, but literally had a pencil stuck in the engine plugging something, and a rubber band holding something else together.
My mother to this day, tells the story of how I went through a period where seemingly all I ever did was run out of gas. Now, she's dead right about that, for about two months I ran out of gas almost weekly.
It turned out my gas tank was rotting, so that the gas was literally just dripping away the entire time. But in my mom's version of the story, it's supposed to be evidence of what a flake teenagers are.
Now, I was sometimes flaky then, and I am sometimes flaky now...but I hate when she tells that story, and I've honestly met friends of my mother who will greet me with, "Are you sure you have enough gas?"
Nothing to do but grin and bear it...but after Rob mentioned it, I realized, "Okay, I have actual experience with the 'sure, funny to you...not so much to me' stuff."
So, Jim my gift for you today? Headline reads: Husband Right, Wife Wrong
I'm sure it will be very popular with the husbands of the world :-)
SueAnn, he's a nice man, I plan on keeping him. Here's hoping he plans on being kept :-) Thank you, I do appreciate it, by the way.
Katy, indeed! I'm entirely with you on that and whereas my family (beyond this house) doesn't know about my blog (we're just not close) I can see how that would pose some problems.
I don't think it hurt your son's feelings, but I am glad that you respected you husband's wishes. But I am still glad you posted your blog, because it brought back memories of how it feels to have young, soon-to-be adults, in the family.
Well - I'm glad this one was merely a retraction, of sorts. I saw on my sidebar you'd posted again and thought "My Lord, the woman's a posting machine these days, when I can't even seem to put together a coherent sentence."
I thought you dealt with the subject with a considerable amount of tact, myself, but I do see why even that might not be enough - and certainly you know best.
Husband right, Wife wrong, eh? Whenever that situation arises around here I try to get it in writing myself. No success as yet. Your husband is a lucky man. ;-)
As is your son, for that matter.
I missed this post, but in response to your comment on my post regarding Facebook - Yes! That's synchronicity! :-)
Alane, I think you did the right thing. My husband does read my blogs as do my daughters and some family back east. Beyond that my friends and family have no interest - I've decided not to take it personally. I can exercise my voice (now that I've sort of found it!). I think it's the writer's intention that is the important thing, and you did not intend to hurt your son's feelings. He sounds like a pretty well balanced individual - something to be extremely grateful for!
My son admonishes me for posting ANYTHING about him and his friends that do read my blog report to him since I have networked blogs on FB and am friends with some of them. I do sneak some in once in awhile though!
xoxo Kim
I'm one of those wise women Saz mentioned (wink).. but yeah, it's a tough call, isn't it? I have a huge rich seam of material I have to censor from posting, which simply rips my writer's heart out, about a certain neighbour of mine!!
What a waste..
I have to be careful what I write about my kids because my kids have asked me to. But hubby and I say what we want to about each other. We don't speak unkindly but we do speak honestly.
I hate to tell you but the post does continue to exist in my Google Reader but that's more innocuous than here on the blog. A wise move on your husband's part, and on yours for taking it down. Anger passes.. words last. He'll still turn out just fine. With parents like his, it's just about guaranteed.
Probably best not to take the chance, Vera :-) You know, that's part of the reason I posted it in the first place, it is something to which a lot of parent's can relate.
Just about the time you're thinking, "Okay, this person will never grow up to be a responsible human! What are we going to do??" it turns out? Usually the age most other parents were thinking the same thing about their kids.
It is a source of comfort to know that, as of yet, no one chimed in with, "Hey, my son did the same thing. Of course, he's currently on the lam from the law, so there is that."
There's hope :-)
Cricket, you know, it wasn't brutal or anything, but it was more the concept that everything could be fine with his life, things are going swimmingly six months down the road, and "Hey, did you see what your mom posted?"
What Rob was pointing out was, "Alane, you would never call him him an idiot to his face." and the post actually didn't make clear that it was just his action/and failure to attend to something in a timely manner that was idiotic.
Rob was right, I'm very careful about not calling him names because in parenting it's always supposed to be about that particular action. Big difference between, "That was a stupid thing to do, Fred." and "You're stupid, Fred."
I thought that was kind of fun, Nancy :-)
Amy, you know, my son is not an overly sensitive soul, but I'll tell you honestly ...he's more sensitive than I am...but at his age? Yeah, I might take something to heart at nineteen that would just make me laugh now.
So that was part of it. If there was a question of "Wow, would that bother him?" then...better safe.
Numinosity, my son normally doesn't mind, but I can understand your son's feelings :-) Now, none of my son's friends read my blog, so it was a pretty far-out-there risk, but still.
Shrinky, what a loss that is to the blogging community, as your neighbor sounds like a wealth of humorous possibility :-)
TechnoBabe, I think that's part of the reason I didn't think of it myself. I am normally very careful about not being unkind, but I was angry enough that I thought, "Hmmm. If that isn't unkind? It's dangerously close to it."
Thank you, Hilary! Welcome back. I did already know that, and knew it when I deleted the post. I wasn't actually worried about anyone who might follow me reading the post -- it wasn't about thinking better of the post, as much as, "Okay, so what happens if my son ends up reading that?" That was at issue, not anyone here.
But thank you.
gotta keep the family happy...
OH! Well then...
Alane, I haven't been blogging much during this beautiful weather, and I missed that post. So hopefully no harm was done to your family either. I have had to take posts down as well in the past, after reconsideration.
I hope you haven't been deleted yourself! Just taking time off? Looking forward to your next post...
Haven't seen you around so I was just checking back....
Missed the 'Valkyrie' post as well.
I think whether or not your husband or family reads your blog is of less consequence that keeping secrets.
Good for you that your husband knows of your postings, and good that you give consideration to his feelings.
Shimp - I'm about to pull you from the lofty heights of a singular link near the top of my sidebar and relegate you to the "Shame, Shame, Haven't Posted In Ages" grouping. Where are you, my friend?
Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry I've been gone so long, and not only did I miss comments, I evidently was spammed about half to death in my absence.
I'm sorry Jim, and everyone :-) I've been trying to make sure I enjoy the summer weather because this last winter drove me nearly 'round a crucial bend in my sanity with all it's grim, grey, cold.
So I've been spending a lot of time outside, with a book, and doing other various summer activities. It's kind of a rare pleasure to be able to just appreciate the quality of a day.
But I shall return :-)
By the way, Jim, I fully understand if you need to blog-roll-of-shame me :-) I emerged today because I'd been getting requests for something funny.
The news has been so grim of late, I can fully understand the need for a laugh.
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